Guilt is a painful emotion. It shakes you up and leaves you thinking about the past. No one wants to feel guilty over something, but no one seems to know how to deal with this guilt that they feel. Below are some steps you can use to move through guilt.
- Put the guilty behaviour in context. What were the forces acting on you at the time?
- Examine the motives, drives, and needs underlying your behaviour. What or who were you trying to satisfy or accomplish?
- Look for ways that the behaviour may have been modelled for you. Ex. someone close to you uses similar methods and has influenced you to do the same, you grew up not knowing any different, etc.
- See how your underlying needs can be more directly and appropriately filled.
- Take stock of any harm caused and find ways of making amends. Start by asking or talking to the person. If this is not an option, make amends using generous actions to the global community (give money, volunteer at a shelter, etc.).
- Make a plan for new behaviour.
- Forgive yourself and move on.
- Evaluate your belief system. Where did the belief that such an action is bad originate from? Who does it serve? What is your own belief, and on what is it based? What are the results of your actions? Is harm caused to yourself or others? How can you get support for your actions if you believe them to be right?
Record all answers and observations. Re-evaluate your responses and realize that this guilt has no purpose or take actions to rid yourself of it.
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